Anal for all. Backdoor exploration tips

Contrary to what you might have heard, anal sex, when done safely and thoughtfully, can feel great and lead to powerful orgasms. So it’s totally normal to be curious about anal even if you aren’t sure where to start. The backdoor is the great equalizer since everyone has an asshole to explore. And that butthole is full of nerve endings and other erogenous zones that feel amazing to stimulate. The outside anal sphincter that you can see is one of the most sensitive parts of the human body. It actually has an incredibly dense concentration of nerve endings. This is why you can get a lot of pleasure out of external anal stimulation without ever going inside. If you take your exploration further you’ll either be able to directly stimulate the prostate if you have one, or the wall between the butt and the vagina is so thin that you’ll be able to indirectly stimulate the g-spot which many people find even more pleasurable then directly stimulating it in the vagina. Internal anal stimulation can be enjoyable for the feeling of pressure and fullness it provides. Internal stimulation can also stimulate the clit since the legs of the clit actually wrap around your butthole, as well as the root of the penis from inside. Which can add another layer of pleasure.

Just keep in mind that you have two sphincters. There is an internal anal sphincter and the external anal sphincter. The inner sphincter is involuntary meaning you have no control over it and the outer is voluntary, meaning you control it. It is located behind the perineum which is located behind the vagina or scrotum. This means that anytime you use a toy in the backdoor you must use one that has a flared base otherwise it could get lost in the body because the internal sphincter can tense and grab the toy and it can get lost in the body because the other end of your butthole is your mouth.

Relaxation

The first step to backdoor exploration is to be relaxed. So if that means grabbing your favorite massage oil and giving your partner a relaxing rub down to get them truly blissed out, or helping them relax by giving them an orgasm first. You can’t trick your body into being relaxed, you have to actually relax. Holding your breath interferes with muscle relaxation, so make sure you’re taking deep breaths. So starting your anal exploration with a warm bath to help the body relax is a great place to start. Add accessories like the lovebath that turns the water into a spa-like bath gel, or keep it simple with a bath bomb with an aphrodisiac scent, or even a bath bomb with a sexy surprise inside.  Classic bath salts can be elevated by Kama Sutra to moisturize the skin and turn the water a soothing blue or go the oldie but goodie route with a bubble bath in limoncello or coconut papaya scent.

Lubrication

Since the backdoor does not lubricate itself you’ll need to get your own lube. Silicone is going to be the best option since it doesn’t get absorbed into the skin as water-based does. The main drawback is you can’t use silicone lube with most toys, it isn’t compatible with most materials. Looking for a thicker water-based formula to use with toys is a good idea since it puts a better cushion on the toys and tends to last longer. So lubricants like Swiss Navy Slip N Slide Jelly, Wicked Jelle Gel,  and Slippery Stuff Gel are great thicker formulas that are ideal for exploring the backdoor with toys, fingers, or more.

While numbing isn’t recommended because pain is your body’s way of telling you to stop, there are plenty of products that can help your backdoor muscle relax. Intimate Earth Ease Silicone Relaxing Glide or Body Action Anal Relaxer uses Bisabolol extract,  Jojoba or Amyris to help relax the sphincter so penetration feels more comfortable and is a long lasting silicone formula, so is great for skin to skin penetration. If you want to use a relaxing formula with your favorite toy then the Mojo Clove Oil Anal Relaxing Gel is going to be your best bet since it’s water-based with all natural clove oil for relaxation. Then you just include your favorite lube and enjoy.

Worried about the mess?

Many people don’t want to explore their backdoor because that’s where poop comes out. But you don’t need to worry as much as you think you do. Poop lives in the colon, and not the rectum itself which is the only part being penetrated during sex. Poop only passes through the rectum as it exits the body when you use the toilet. So at worst you might come in contact with some remnants. Usually, if you make sure that you poop the same day before you have anal sex it’s enough to make sure your bowels are empty and there isn’t any poop inside of your colon or rectum. It can sometimes feel like you want to poop during anal penetration however if your bowels are empty, you won’t!

You can absolutely douche if it will help make you feel more comfortable and you want to make sure even the last little remnants in the rectum are gone so you can explore with complete peace of mind. Anything from a simple bulb style like the Cleanstream Premium one-way valve to an on-the-go kit that turns any water bottle into a douching system. Or if you’re doing any deeper exploration and want to clean deeper, getting a longer douche is ideal like the Ergoflow director or even a shower system like the Cleanstream Shower System.

Start Small!

Don’t let your eyes be bigger than your hole. If you’re looking for a plug then a small finger shaped set like the Colt Silicone Anal Trainer Kit or the Luxe Beginner Plug Kit are soft with tapered heads and slim shafts that comfortably and easily inserted.  Plugs are great for getting used to the sensation of just having something inserted into the backdoor. You can also give a vibrating plug a try like the VeDo Bump, a nice thin beginner vibrating plug. Vibration can help the muscle relax if you’re still feeling nervous. If you’re past that and looking to work on the motion of penetration and actually going in and out of the body, look for smooth dildos like the Temptasia Twist dildos. They come in small, medium and large which can be thought of like 1 finger, 2 fingers, or 3 fingers if you aren’t sure which size to get.